Learning to love more and hurt less in love isn’t about keeping count of who’s winning or who’s at a bigger advantage, it’s about learning to see your relationship from your lover’s eyes, and letting them know that you still care.
If you learn how to love more and hurt less in a relationship, you will manage to help your love life get better by the day. When you are in a relationship, try to remember that a couple is about two people being happy together so things shouldn’t be only about one person. It takes two to clap and both of your need to work on your relationship if your want to make that special bond that you two share stronger.
Being in a relationship is a learning experience and if you have the misfortune of not being able to make it work, look at it as a lesson learned. In the end, loving more and hurting less is not that difficult to do.
Always remember to put your loved one first, and to only get upset after you have put yourself in their shoes. Sometimes, things just happen for no reason and you have to rise above it all to maintain a happy and healthy relationship.
At the end of the day, loving more and hurting less entails you being less selfish and apathetic when it comes to your partner’s feelings.The more effort you put into making your partner happy without compromising the two of you, the more likely your partner will do the same in return. This will lead to a happier and more beneficial relationship for both of you. The key is to embracing the philosophy that calls for loving more and hurting less.
Here are some things that you can embrace and practice once you decide to make a change for the better.
#1 Dont Try To Control
The need to control your loved one is a natural response when trying to steer the relationship somewhere you want it to go. Whether it is making it through a difficult financial period together, or learning to forgive each other for the all the nasty fights in the past, trying to control a relationship is normal.If you try too hard to make your relationship work, you might tend to become too controlling or even too clingy. Try not to be jealous or possessive and try to be less controlling if you want to have a happy and healthy relationship. By being too controlling you will not only be hurting your significant other but, also yourself.You may have the best intentions in mind, but you have to remember that your attempts to control your loved one is hurting them more than anything else. Love cannot be possessed and it is ridiculous to think that you can own someone’s love. Stop trying to hurt your partner by controlling the flow of the relationship.
#2 Be Thoughtful.
Do not assume that you know what your partner wants just because you have been together for a long time. Your loved one is entitled to his or her own opinions, so please be mindful of the things you say and the decisions you make.Just remember that you can’t read anyone’s mind and that your significant other is a separate being with personal thoughts and feelings.
You have to always be mindful of your partner’s feelings. You may think that after years together you know how your spouse behaves, but always remember that he or she is a separate being with personal thoughts and feelings. They are not a reflection of you.If you want to love more and hurt less when you are in a relationship, then try to be mindful of your partner’s feelings.
#3 Always Give A Open Thought.
Stop trying to change who they are and accept that they may think differently than you. Whether it is something major like a religious belief, or something small like wanting the living room to be painted eggshell yellow instead of beige, have an open mind and respect your differences, not attack them.Even though your significant other shares the same goals and outlook on life as you, you shouldn’t expect them to be an exact copy of you. Learn from your differences and respect their opinions.
Don’t try to change who they are and accept that they might think differently than you in some situations.
If you want someone who thinks and behaves exactly as you do, you might as well date yourself. The whole purpose of being in a serious relationship with someone is to fill in the missing pieces and complete yourself. Although there is a high probability that your loved one shares the same goals and outlook on life as you, he or she should also have the freedom to have different opinions, beliefs and viewpoints.
#4 Give Your Support.
When you can selflessly prove that you care about someone else’s happiness and peace of mind more than your own, you will find that good things will come back to you and you will be happy.Whether it is something life changing like your husband wanting to give up his high powered banking position to be a scuba diving instructor, or something small like accompanying your wife to run errands after work even though both of you are exhausted, offering your partner support is one of the greatest ways of loving more and hurting less.
You should always support your significant other, no matter what they are trying to do. Just be there by their side and encourage them. Be selfless and show them that you care about their happiness and that you would do everything in your power to always bring a smile on their face.
#5 Make Them Feel Special Daily.
Be affectionate, have patience and show your partner how special they are to you by doing something nice for them every day.
You should make an effort to say something nice and appreciative to your partner every day. Even better, couple your sweet words with actions.
Always remember that if you can appreciate the gesture, your partner probably will do too. No matter how busy you are, try to say something nice to your significant other every day. Don’t neglect them! Show them that you appreciate them and they will do the same for you.
#6 Listen More Talk Less.
Sometimes, all it takes to love more is to listen and not react negatively. Instead of throwing a tantrum and blaming your girlfriend for screwing up the dinner reservations, just accept that a mistake was made and get over it. Also, instead of hunting down the colleague who backstabbed your husband at work, just listen to what your husband has to say and offer him moral support in whatever he decides to do next.
#7 Be Ready For Change.
Do not be afraid of change. Never blame your partner for wanting to do something different. Sure, it may be difficult to adjust to a new routine, but sometimes, change may be just what the doctor ordered. At the very least, you can say that you supported your partner’s decision.
You have to give your spouse the freedom to make their own decisions and fix their own mistakes. Be as understanding as you can be by offering them a shoulder to cry on and two ears to listen. Sometimes, the best thing that you can do is to not do anything at all.
#8 Try To Share more.
Share your hopes, dreams, faults and even fears with your significant other and allow them to be there for you. Do the same for them and this will result in an open and honest relationship that will make both of you happy.Another way to love more and hurt less is to communicate freely. Do not keep things from your partner. Rather, share your hopes, dreams and faults with them, no matter how unbelievable it may seem. Try to communicate freely with your partner and don’t hide things from them if you want to increase the intimacy in your relationship.
#9 Forgive and Learn.
If you find that you cannot forgive your partner for wronging you, then you have to make the decision to leave because at the end of the day, you will both be unhappy. However, do not let your unhappiness stop you from trying as hard as you can to make things right.
People make mistakes and your partner is no exception. You have to learn to let go of pent up anger and forgive your spouse. Whether it is something silly like not giving him hell for forgetting to pick up eggs on his way home, or something more serious like learning to forgive her for sleeping with her ex, forgiveness is the key to a happy relationship.