We blame past failed relationships for emotional baggage that we have today — fear of heartbreak, wasted time, energy, and emotions.They might not stay there forever, but even in the limited period of time, they teach us about life and ourselves.
Here are what you learn and why you should embrace them:
1. You learn more about yourself and your life.
Only when you get so close to someone in a serious relationship do your true personalities really come out. These personalities don’t come out as strongly with friends because you don’t spend as much time with them — and you don’t have emotional expectations as great as you would with a serious boyfriend or girlfriend.This really makes you learn about life in terms of people, mannerism, personality traits, core values, and attitudes towards the world.
2. You learn to be a better communicator and to be more expressive.
Relationships teach you to be more expressive especially if you normally are not.My ex taught me how to be strong! Lean in and don’t always be afraid of conflict and honest conversations.A failed relationship teaches you that communication is key to understanding. And understanding is the key to life.
3. You discover the emotional side of yourself.
Being in a relationship and letting someone into your life takes both courage and strength.Letting yourself become emotionally vulnerable can make you feel so weak that you become strong.Whatever love means to you, you’d only discover what it is that makes you feel loved from a partner by being in a relationship. And if you’re lucky, you only have to go through one. But for most of us it takes several relationships to discover one that fits us perfectly.
4. You learn the value of giving and taking.
Compromising can mean a lot of work especially for people growing up independently. To some, it’s second to nature especially if you grow up in a big and close-knit family.In a relationship, you learn the value and the art of give-and-take. We as humans are selfish and it takes willpower to be able to give and take when the level of difference and incompatibility is high.When it’s too much to handle you realize that this whole give-and-take thing is coming to an end. It’s not going to work. The compromise cannot be compromised anymore.
5. You learn to be patient and calm
Relationships also teach you to be able to control your emotions in a better way.
If your partner is hot-tempered you learn to become calm, patient, and resilient in order to handle the flame.If you are hot-tempered yourself then you learn to control your emotions and to pause before telling your partner off, yelling at them, or becoming abusive and aggressive.
Either way, the time spent in a failed relationship was not wasted. You’ve learned to control your temper, mood, and emotions — which is indeed a valuable skill to master in life.
6. You learn to let go.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
You’ve learned some valuable skills in life from every failure.